Valentine's Day
by Dr. Breifs Cat
Summary: Because any excuse for chocolate is a good one. G Gundam.


**Valentine's Day**

                When you participate in the Gundam Fight--not just as a Fighter, but as staff or a mechanic as well--you miss out on a year of your life.  A year that you weren't a normal person, a year that you didn't belong to yourself, a year when you long for the things that most people in the colonies take for granted, that things people on the Earth don't have.  It changes your life to the point where you can't go back to the way you were before.  Living in a house is strange afterwards.  Having a steady job where you go to the same place everyday is unsettling.

                You can't go back to the way you were before, but you don't want to, either.

                That year, though...  All you want is a chance to be normal again.  Somedays it just doesn't feel worth it.

                Frankly, I don't know if everyone in the Fight feels like that.  I know Domon did, I know Allenby didn't...she _never knew a normal life, I think Chibodee didn't, but I think Sai Sici may have.  It's how I felt, though.  I wanted to just run away a lot of the time, but could never quite bring myself to do so.  I felt cheated out of my life, out of my dreams._

                What bothered me the most was holidays.  I'm sure it sounds silly, but I missed the relaxation and celebration of holidays.  I missed out on Christmas, on New Year's, on Golden Week, on just about every holiday I can name.

                But one day, one tiny, nearly insignificant day is easy to celebrate.  The Japanese custom on Valentine's Day is a girl gives a boy a homemade box of chocolate.  I know in many other cultures, it's more common for the male to be the one giving gifts, but we have White Day for that.  

                I didn't have the time, ingredients or ability to make chocolate myself, which was just fine with me at the time.  Homemade gifts are also a clear way of telling someone you are _interested in him.  The small celebration I had in mind was in the name of fun, not romance.  _

                When you participate in the Gundam Fight, fun is one of those things you find yourself missing.  When the only person you have steady contact with is Domon Kasshu, at least.  That's selling him a little short now, but at the time he was not the easiest person to deal with.  

                As I was saying, Valentine's Day was an easy one to celebrate.  Domon would protest taking time off from the Fight, he would walk out of a party if I somehow managed to get us invited to one, but he would never turn food down.  

                I was traveling alone, playing catch-up, I guess I could call it, when I made a five minute stop in a convenience store.  It was a dingy, dirty run-down place where the clerk behind the counter clearly trusted no one, but the likelihood I'd find a nicer store on the Earth without looking hard was slim.  

                I bought a box of assorted chocolates and was on my way again in no time, keeping a close watch via the wonders of technology on my partner.  This was several days before Valentine's Day, but I wanted to be sure I was ready when the day itself came.  Interesting situations have a way of cropping up, so it's best to plan as much as you can in advance.  

                When did I start planning what should have been whims days in advance?

                On the designated day, I didn't wait for an opportune time or try to bring up anything in conversation.  

                Domon was sitting on the floor of the Shining Gundam's cockpit, still in his Mobile Trace Battle Suit.  It was soon after his victory that I approached him, but not soon enough that he should still be in battle-mode.  The suit was powered down.  

                "The left leg isn't working properly," he said when I entered the cockpit, not even bothering to look up.  "You'll have to fix that before my next challenge."

                "I'll take a look at it," I said.  "But, first," I held out the chocolate, "Happy Valentine's Day."

                He looked at me oddly for a moment, as though he didn't understand what I had said.  I should have seen that coming; he had been training for ten years and probably hadn't thought about Greeting Card holidays like Valentine's Day in years.  There was a stretch of time before he accepted the white rectangular box, but when he opened it, his lips twitched.  Fighting a smile, maybe?

                "Don't let me you don't remember Valentine's Day," I chuckled.  Of course, it dawned on me once that sentence popped out that if he was as well versed in Valentine's Day as the average fourth grader, then he knew it was a romantic holiday.  "Any excuse for candy is a good one." I added quickly sitting down on the cool surface of the cockpit floor so that I was facing him.

                He didn't seem to be paying much, if any, attention to me.  

                You know those creme-filled chocolates?  Apparently, there are people who like those, after all.           

                He never said thank you.  He never offered me a chocolate, but when I swiped a few anyway, he never complained.

                "Valentine's Day was never one of my favorite holidays," I said, trying to make conversation.  "My relationships always fizzled between New Years' and February."  I was watching Domon as I spoke, taking the opportunity to real take a look at him without him noticing.  I had a lot of trouble understanding what he's thinking most of the time.  It's hard to understand someone who can be completely focused on their goals to the point where they tune out the rest of the world, but at the same not be concerned with what they are doing.  He tensed when I mentioned my past relationships, though.  I'm sure of it.  

                I snatched a chocolate then and popped it into my mouth.  He looked up at me like something startled him and I couldn't help but laugh.  Domon is generally very perceptive when it comes to his surroundings.

                "You at least have to share," I said after I'd swallowed, wagging a finger at him.

                "This is a waste of time," Domon said, setting the box to the side.

                "No, it's not," I protested.  "It's fun.  When was the last time you paid attention to pointless days like this?  There's more to life than Kung Fu, you know."

                "Rain," he muttered, like he didn't know what to say.  I shouldn't have been surprised he didn't know what to make of relationship chat.  A few months later, I became his first.  Domon's hand snaked back to the box for another chocolate.      

                "Don't you miss celebrating holidays?" I asked him while he chewed on the candy.

                "No," he said simply, before taking another.

                I looked at him skeptically.  

                "I know you've got good memories,"  I prodded.  "Remember the time our families went camping together during Golden Week when we were seven or eight?  Don't try to tell me you didn't have fun, I was there."

                He looked at me with a sort of dull expression I'm not sure how to describe.  I got the feeling he thought I was pretty stupid at that moment.

                "I've got good memories," he replied, "but they would only stand in my way."

                It was then I realized that most of Domon's holiday memories involve his mother, his father, his brother...  Thinking about happy times with Kyoji would make his, our, goal that much more difficult.  Thinking about his mother at all must be painful.  I couldn't begin to imagine how deeply his mother's death must have hurt him.  Domon went home after ten years only to learn that he didn't have one anymore.

                "I'm sorry," I whispered.  "I wasn't thinking."

                "The Shining Gundam's leg still needs to be fixed," was Domon's reply.  I still don't know if that was his way of saying 'No, you weren't' or 'That's okay.'  Or maybe it was his way of saying 'I don't really care if you were thinking or not.  Fix my Gundam.  _Now.'_

                I stood up, meaning to run a diagnostic on the Gundam's electrical system.  I called up a console to set to work.

                "When are you going to move on?" I called over my shoulder.

                "As soon as," a pause.  I think he may have been swallowing. "I can."

                "Oh?" I asked nonchalantly, thinking maybe he would wait for me to finish repairs first.  He was perfectly able to stand up, put his street clothes on and leave, after all.  Tuning the Shining Gundam's leg wouldn't have taken long anyway.  Looking back, it was delusional of me to think he'd realize that.

                "I haven't gotten the transmission for my next challenge yet," he answered.  

                My mood deflated quickly after that.  So much for friendship.

                "It shouldn't be long," I said, "And it looks like there's just a minor wire crossed.  I can have the Shining Gundam fixed in no time."  I wasn't facing him so I don't know if he nodded or made no response.  Come to think of it, I don't know if he listens to me at all if I'm not in his line of sight.  It's like Schwarz told me later that year: Domon only sees what's in front of him.  At that moment, what was in front of him was chocolate.

                At least my celebration was a success.  In that someone you just did something nice for has forgotten you exist sort of way.  Not that I thought it would matter that much to him.  In those days, I didn't know how to do something that he would appreciate.  

                Now?

                All Domon ever wanted from me was to be with him.  Gestures never mattered, words meant little.  Mere presence is all he desires.

                I can do that.

**Owari**

**Sore de wa...Gundam Fight!  Ready?  Go!**

Disclaimers: The usual.  I don't own characters or concepts and I'm not making any money.

Author Notes:  My knowledge of Japanese holidays is limited, but I do know the following: Girls give chocolate on Valentine's Day, guys on White Day.  Golden Week is a week in (I think) May where several national holidays all fall into the same week and everyone is encouraged to travel and go on vacation.  Christmas is a romantic/excuse for presents holiday, instead of a family/religious holiday.  


End file.
